Wow, it's really been a while since my last posting...
I guess things have been crazy with work and all the attempts to find my fabulous self again...

I've been reading my old postings,
And it was sad and depressing...
Yes, I was in hell of a broken heart, yet I wasn't killed...
I am still alive, skinnier, and of course more fabulous...

One thing for sure...
We'll never get to be an expert in love, relationship, broken heart, and all those thingies, but at least the pain won't catch us by surprise no more...

And here I am...
Doing one thing I should have done long time ago...
Saying good bye to old chapter of love and life...
And welcome to whatever might come across...

Boy, I am really a sucker for love…

ALL Men are Pig

And…

Know this and live with it!

No matter where you search,

You will never find someone who loves you greater than I do.

I hope you will be satisfied with the second best…

Do you know what day is it?

Do you still remember what does this date mean to us?

Do you still care?

Today…

It is supposed to be our 4^th anniversary

In happiness and sadness

In ups and downs of life

Happy almost 4^th anniversary to us!

There will always be a very huge space in my heart,

Reserved only for you…

It's stupid,

But love is never logical,

And I love you, always…

Together or not together...

I do have friends for life

Who will always care

I do have a to-die-for family

Who loves me so much

I know I might never be lonely,

Because they will always be there for me.

But there are times in life,

That you are really on your own.

In Heartache…

In Sickness…

In Death…

Because it’s your own battle to fight.

And now I am fighting on my own!

… I am grateful to have people who love me so greatly

… You guys really have helped me to heal in an indescribable way

Thank you for making this easier for me to bear…

Is it true you don't have to care about the reason you are breaking up?

Is it true it doesn't matter at all?

He told me,

"Whatever the reason is, it's not important anymore, it's over…"

I thought the only thing that broke us apart was your huge problem,

Not because we didn't love each other anymore…

How come you told me you are not in the place to have a relationship with anyone,

But now, someone has started to find his way to your heart?

I don't know what to believe anymore,

For me, it all does matter…

Why does it seem so easy for you to forget everything we've been through?

Why can you move on so easily?

Don't leave me behind, I want to move on too,

But I can't do this that soon,

I wish I can,

But my wound is still fresh…

I feel like there is a big hole in my heart,

It hurts so badly,

And I don’t know how to patch it up…

I feel like crying but my tears just won’t come out,

It’s all stuck in my throat,

And I don’t know how to make it flow…

I feel like I can’t breathe,

It’s like someone is punching my chest hard,

And I don’t know how to shield myself…

I kinda forget that it’s gonna be this painful…

I wish this kind of feeling never exist…

Sometimes in life, you might encounter this situation,

You really love someone but you have to let him/her go,

Or otherwise you will cause more damage to him/her,

By clinging on him/her, by staying at his/her side.

Claiming that you love him/her more than yourself,

But actually you just love yourself too much that you are afraid to get hurt,

You just don’t want to be alone, you simply want him/her to satisfy your need of companionship…

I am now in that kind of situation…

I am helpless, this time his problem is bigger than me,

I am defeated, I have no more resources…

“I am sorry, dear, this time you have to fix it on your own,

I have spoiled you badly, you won’t be satisfied to just having me in your life and not providing answers,

I can only send you my never-ending prayers that you will find an answer to your problem and you will be saved,

I am sorry I can’t fix it for you anymore, I am sorry…”

This really kills me…

I am so dying inside, but I hope this will be all worth it…

I hope he will find himself and be a better person without me…

I can only hope that life will be kind enough to let us find a way back to each other’s heart once again…

One can only wish…

One can only hope…

God, please let my wish come true, someday, somehow…

“I love you so much…

I will miss you everyday…”