ALL Men are Pig

And…

Know this and live with it!

No matter where you search,

You will never find someone who loves you greater than I do.

I hope you will be satisfied with the second best…

Do you know what day is it?

Do you still remember what does this date mean to us?

Do you still care?

Today…

It is supposed to be our 4^th anniversary

In happiness and sadness

In ups and downs of life

Happy almost 4^th anniversary to us!

There will always be a very huge space in my heart,

Reserved only for you…

It's stupid,

But love is never logical,

And I love you, always…

Together or not together...

I do have friends for life

Who will always care

I do have a to-die-for family

Who loves me so much

I know I might never be lonely,

Because they will always be there for me.

But there are times in life,

That you are really on your own.

In Heartache…

In Sickness…

In Death…

Because it’s your own battle to fight.

And now I am fighting on my own!

… I am grateful to have people who love me so greatly

… You guys really have helped me to heal in an indescribable way

Thank you for making this easier for me to bear…

Is it true you don't have to care about the reason you are breaking up?

Is it true it doesn't matter at all?

He told me,

"Whatever the reason is, it's not important anymore, it's over…"

I thought the only thing that broke us apart was your huge problem,

Not because we didn't love each other anymore…

How come you told me you are not in the place to have a relationship with anyone,

But now, someone has started to find his way to your heart?

I don't know what to believe anymore,

For me, it all does matter…

Why does it seem so easy for you to forget everything we've been through?

Why can you move on so easily?

Don't leave me behind, I want to move on too,

But I can't do this that soon,

I wish I can,

But my wound is still fresh…

I feel like there is a big hole in my heart,

It hurts so badly,

And I don’t know how to patch it up…

I feel like crying but my tears just won’t come out,

It’s all stuck in my throat,

And I don’t know how to make it flow…

I feel like I can’t breathe,

It’s like someone is punching my chest hard,

And I don’t know how to shield myself…

I kinda forget that it’s gonna be this painful…

I wish this kind of feeling never exist…

Sometimes in life, you might encounter this situation,

You really love someone but you have to let him/her go,

Or otherwise you will cause more damage to him/her,

By clinging on him/her, by staying at his/her side.

Claiming that you love him/her more than yourself,

But actually you just love yourself too much that you are afraid to get hurt,

You just don’t want to be alone, you simply want him/her to satisfy your need of companionship…

I am now in that kind of situation…

I am helpless, this time his problem is bigger than me,

I am defeated, I have no more resources…

“I am sorry, dear, this time you have to fix it on your own,

I have spoiled you badly, you won’t be satisfied to just having me in your life and not providing answers,

I can only send you my never-ending prayers that you will find an answer to your problem and you will be saved,

I am sorry I can’t fix it for you anymore, I am sorry…”

This really kills me…

I am so dying inside, but I hope this will be all worth it…

I hope he will find himself and be a better person without me…

I can only hope that life will be kind enough to let us find a way back to each other’s heart once again…

One can only wish…

One can only hope…

God, please let my wish come true, someday, somehow…

“I love you so much…

I will miss you everyday…”

A couple of days ago, I got this surprising email in my inbox.

It was from someone that I have almost forgotten that he used to take up almost all the space in my heart.

He was truly my first love, pure and true.

We never let the "L" word slipped out of our tongue, maybe we didn't understand what kind of feelings evolving between us that time, but my days with him were always so happy, so beautiful that my heart ached so much, because I knew that happiness would never last long.

Our good bye was too painful to remember that I let myself pretended that I never met him in my life, that way maybe I can move on easily.

That trick that I played on my mind was actually kind of working.

I never thought about him and everything about him was just faded away with time.

Until he sent me this email, asking for my forgiveness.

I told him, I am willing to forgive him and I am still working on it.

And I believe that some day in the future, I will be able to think about him, feeling nothing but peaceful and grateful…

I don't know when that time will come,

but one thing I know for sure as I told him,

"Je Ne Regrette Rien" (song by Edith Piaf)

I don't regret a thing…

As I am now a stronger person and I will never be afraid to love however painful it can be…

It's partly because of him, but mostly, it's because I was born strong…

He is now happily married with two kids.

I am happy for him, truly…